I cockslap morals
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
