She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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