he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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