i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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