what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
