then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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