If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need to calm my uterus...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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