Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
