Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
