my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
