You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
