DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
