So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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