I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize