you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
love makes seman taste better
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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