i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
