Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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