i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
