omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
