Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
