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I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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