But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
