I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
