More tranny stories later!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
