You work out of a Hotel?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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