so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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