Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
