remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
