lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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