dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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