..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
