When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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