Dude my mom stole all your condoms
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
