I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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