These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize