He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
tell me about the eggs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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