This girl is more easily done than said...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
