I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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