I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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