you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize