Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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