she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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