Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
