He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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