I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize