I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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