the condom got lost in my hair
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
