If i come over, it means nothing
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
