can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
