Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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