If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
organizing the empties. That sober.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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