I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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