No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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