I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
