Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
