there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
