Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My feet surprised me
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
