so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
