Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
