it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
