me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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