lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
