Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
