At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
